misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

On a recent trip to San Diego, my brother-in-law accused me of being selfish. I don't take issue with his comment, as I agree with him. When making decisions, I usually first consider how the decision will affect me, rather than someone else, like, say, Dan Rather. I do things that are in my best interest. When buying a plane ticket to San Diego, my first concern is price. I buy the cheapest ticket, regardless of time. This might put me in San Diego at midnight, which, in my brother-in-law's estimation, is selfish, as I never considered how that affects the people who have to pick me up. It seems a non-selfish person would first call the people who are going to pick him/her up, confirm the best time to arrive, and then purchase that ticket. That couldn't be during traffic hour, because arriving during traffic is selfish. And it can't be too early, because making someone wake up before they normally is also selfish. And it can't be during lunch, because disrupting someone's lunch pattern can have dire consequences. My most astute readers will know where I am going with all of this. Everyone is selfish. Everyone makes decisions based on what is best for them. Taking my airplane example, my brother-in-law wants to pick me up at the ideal time for him, which is him being selfish. And I am trying to arrive at the best time for me, which is me being selfish. He's just pissed because my selfishness beat his -- meaning, I arrived when I wanted, making him put his selfishness aside to reward mine. But in the end, I've never met a non-selfish person. Even the community worker who dedicates her life to serving crippled, blind elderly autistic patients with heartburn is selfish. She is serving those people because it makes her feel good. Makes her feel good about herself. Luckily, what makes her feel good about herself is also good for others, but that is coincidental. If that same person liked painting coffee mugs for rich poodles, she'd be doing that. The only time people do things for others is when they are afraid if they don't, they'll feel guilty. So the decision is made based on their own feelings. I don't see another way .. if I lived a life based on what was best for Taj, then I wouldn't be in a particularly good place.

Part of his comment about my selfishness also revolved around seeing me with kids. My 1.3 year old neice and 3.7 year old nephew were in town. Now, I love these two kids. They run around naked and say cute things. And I'm happy they are part of my family. But I am years away from wanting the burden of children on my plate. Watching the exhaustion of my sister after following around her daughter for a weekend is something I am not ready for. I want to go out for a beer after work if I so desire, not go home and change diapers. I like to watch movies at home without the disruption of a crying baby every ten minutes. Yes, this is a selfish sentiment. But are all parents selfless, dedicated martyrs? Am i too selfish to have kids, ever? Is the decision to have kids a logical decision to end your inherent selfishness? Why do people decide to have kids, anyway? I'm not sure it has to do with a strong desire to change diapers and wake up in the middle of the night. From what i hear, it has something to do with bringing something other than yourself into the world, to grow a family, to teach your lessons to another. In other words, all reasons that bring you a sense of satisfaction and contentment. Again, it is all about you. What you want. So make no mistake, I am selfish. But so are you. And whether you drink beer to make you happy, or have a kid, we're coming from the same place.

You selfish bastards.