Photo-Fabulous
After three months here at my new job, I'm finally getting to go on my first photo shoot. A real, high-budget shoot with an expensive photographer and models. It is for an ad concept Ben and I did for a new Panasonic laptop. Basically, the idea is that this laptop is not only beautiful (lightweight, sleek, etc), but also tough and durable. So, essentially we are taking hot chicks in dresses and putting tough items on them (shoulder pads, cleats, etc.) Yeah, not the more creative idea ever but that isn't the point. The point is as the lead creative team Ben and I get to cast and choose the models. We even get to decide what they wear. It is a fantasy in action. Here is one of the descriptions I had to write to send out to the modeling agents for a casting call:
Female model #1:
Blonde or Brunette Caucasian. Approachable, young, fresh face. More model than girl next door, but not runway supermodel look. Longer, straight hair (no short hair). Athletic build: toned, but still very feminine. Early to late 20s.
Reference: Piper Perabo, Mischa Barton, Kiera Knightley
Essentially, I described my dream girl. Within a day's time, we had about two hundred modelling cards fitting the above description (along with two other descriptions). The kind of girls you don't really see on the streets. 200 of the kind of girls I couldn't even imagine if I spent four hours trying. Some had done covers for magazines, others were "new faces" (as they are known in the modeling world). The three models we pick will each get about $10,000 for a day's work (and a two-year buyout of their pictures), so this is a desireable shoot for them to be picked for. There are a couple of points to be made here.
Firstly, I got about 200 dream girls sent in response to one single casting call in one city in one country of the world. That means that there are tons of your dream girls out there, roaming around. That still doesn't mean you (or me) have a chance with them, but it is nice to know they are out in the real world, and not only in your mind. If one of your dream girl's dumps you -- fret not. There are 199 ready to take her place.
The worst part of this whole process is elimination. We had to eliminate 200 perfect women down to 2. How do you eliminate perfection? Where do you begin? In the end, the reasons for elimination become so superficial, it was pathetic. Women would get eliminated because we didn't like the freckle over their left eyebrow. Or their kneecap seemed a little skewed. Or a hair strand seemed a little longer than all the others. Any of these girls, I would have paid to look at live for thirty seconds. But at 10k for a day's work, perfection becomes the ideal. There is no room for flaws. If you see one girl that is perfect, but you want her breasts to be just a little bit bigger, chances are you'll find a match in the pile somewhere. I must admit, it gives a certain sense of reversed tables sydrome. In the real world, the hot chicks hold all the cards. But as I sat there digging through hundreds of hot chick cards, I realized that, for a few weeks at least, I would be holding some cards of my own (if these models knew what a fat, ugly bitch like myself was saying about them as digging through their cards, they would laugh in my face).
Now, as a gay admission, I must confess that Ben and I also had to select a male model for this photo shoot. I confronted my sexuality in ways I never have before. For the sake of my two female readers, I'll include that model description as well:
Male model:
Caucasian, African-American, or Hispanic. Dark hair, eyes. Unshaven. Good looking enough to be a model, but tough looking. Muscular body, well defined pecs/abs.
Reference: Colin Farrell, Jason Statham, Tyson, Taye Diggs
Suffice to say, pouring through hundred of male model cards was nearly unbearable. By the end, we had to make specific comments about their pecs and abs, and how they needed to be more defined. How their lips needed to be more pouty. How they were cute, but not tough enough. It was awful (we tried to enlist some female coworkers to help .. but in a wierd twist of fate, they were more interested in looking at the female models. wtf). Anytime we needed to cleanse the sexuality palette, we returned to the female cards, hoping to reaffirm our maleness. Eventually, after looking at hundreds of men in their boxers, we found our Taye Diggs lookalike -- though I think I'll let Ben grease him up before the photo shoot. I'll be hanging around the female dressing room. Which is the next best part of this process. We get to describe, in detail, what we want the models to wear, and then work with a stylist and wardrobe assistant to make it happen. Again, i referenced my fantasies to create the wardrobe list. Knee high boots? Check. Leather pants? Check. Halter tops? Check. Tight, suede top with open back? Check. They'll do three or four wardrobe changes each. So, at this point, we've picked two of our perfect girls, and picked two of our perfect outfits, and, September 24th, the day of the shoot, I'll get to see this dream actualized. Granted, the models won't talk to my fat, ugly self and their NFL boyfriends will whoop my ass when I try to say hello ... but, at least for a day, I can live out of my mind for once and enter into the real world. I'll be sure to send some pictures.