misAdventures of Workmonkey 3.0

To you humorless people who took insult from my last blog on thugs: You've managed to forget a founding principle of my entire nature as a human being. Don't ever take me seriously. If I tell you take me seriously, you should still probably not take me seriously. Taj has somehow managed to lose his sense of humor over in Spain and spread it to other people. If you want me to write nice little blogs telling you about what I did during my day, then perhaps I should cut off my penis and become a bitch.

There are two problems I encounter everytime I sit down to write a blog: how to get my readers to properly distinguish my tone, and how honest I should be. My primary goal with blogs is to entertain my readers. The best way to do that is to write about things 99% of America considers to be taboo subjects. I live in a country where people refer to a word (nigger) as the "N word". They cannot even pronounce a six-letter word, in fear that people like Taj will get all worked up. It is not far off from how they refer to the bad wizard in "Harry Potter", a series of children's books. They cannot call him by name lest he appear in a firey ball of anger to rip the tongue out of the person who spoke the word. So he is referred to as "he who cannot be named". Maybe we should start referring to blacks as "the race that cannot be discussed". I will discuss it. Precisely because it needs to be discussed. And I will discuss it honestly, because again, 99% of America is afraid to. So we all walk around all fucking day talking fake bullshit to one another, in fear that someone will get offended if honesty is spoken.

My last blog proved this fact. I managed to truly offend Taj, a friend of mine since day one of college. Why is this? Because the topic was touchy and emotional for him, which I can respect. Will that keep me from writing about it? Fuck no. I guess it was a matter of time before people got confused. A high majority of the people who read this have no legitimate idea of who I am or what I believe. So let me clarify my last blogg for you, sans any type of humor, which apparantly has confused some of you. And I will give you totally honesty, since most of you fuckers are too conditioned to step back and take an honest look at your own self.

Do I think blacks are thugs? Yes. Do I think all blacks are thugs? No. Do I think white people are thugs? Yes. Do I think black people are more likely to be thugs than white people? No. Do I think it is funny for me to pretend to believe that certain races have higher percentages of thugs than others? Yes. While growing up, did my father often refer to black people as niggers? Yes. Is my father a racist? Taj and Thomas, feel free to decide on your own after meeting him. Maybe he is. In truth, history dictates that white people are possibly more prone to be thugs than other races. You think I am ignorant to the fact that my heritage as a white Christian male is largely based upon racism, sexism, ignorance and murder? But do you think that your own race, regardless of what it is, doesn't have a similar history?

Let's examine what I truly believe more closely. Humanity is humanity, despite any color or religion. The majority of us are good people, and the rest are ignorant fuckers. I hate stupidity, not races. Do I feel I certain disgust when I sit by some black fourteen year old in a doo-rag on Muni, only to watch him spit snotballs onto the seat in front of him, all the while blasting his fucking radio so that the entire train has to hear his music? Yes. Would I feel the same disgust for that person if he were white? Yes. Have my blogs not ripped into just about every type of person, regardless of color? Figure it out. I hate senior citizens, kids, white people, black people, jews, catholics, people in the Western Hemisphere, people in the Eastern Hemisphere. Anyone can cause me to feel disgust. All they have to be is stupid or disrespectful. And none of these groups of people are more prone to it than any others. What I fucking hate the most is the idea I am not allowed to say I am disgusted by that aforementioned fourteen-year old black kid simply because he is black. Because then I would be judging him by stereotypes and be racist. Well, here is my stereotype. I don't like fourteen-year olds that spit their own snot onto the seats of the Muni. Since I am a writer, I use adjectives, and a helpful adjective to use when describing a fellow human being is his skin color. So, when I tell a story, it will be a black fourteen-year old, not just a fourteen-year old. And if that fucker was white, I would have told you all as much. But if you think I am going to pretend that black people are not as prone to stupidity as white people, like Taj does, that is where you are wrong. Let's take the perfect case-study. Slavery. Even after four-hundred years, the word causes anger.

Did white people bring Africans over as slaves to America? Yes, and it is an example of stupidity. Did all white people bring slaves over to America? No, plenty of them stayed at home to drink their tea and grow gardens. During this same time, did many African tribes have their own system of slavery using members of their conquered rival tribes? Yes, another example of stupidity. Did all African tribes use slavery? No, plenty of them were busy chasing Cheetahs and dancing (okay, I couldn't go a whole blogg without some humor .. i must be racist). Does just about every single race in the world have examples of using slavery at some point in their history? Yes. Look into it if you doubt my facts. Did the white Germans attempt to exterminate an entire race of people because of their religious beliefs? Yes. Are black Africans in Liberia currently attempting to do the same thing? Yes. It is human nature to hate people not like you. It is human nature to believe that the choices you have made for yourself about religion and culture are right, and everyone else's choices are wrong. It is human nature to force your ideals onto other people. This is why I hate human nature. And why I've spent a good part of my life using my logic to grow past my instincts as a human. And as someone who believes that people have a duty to improve themselves so they can continue the basic progression of the human race, I hate to encounter people that I see as hindering that process. And as far as I am concerned, thugs hinder that process, so I don't like them. Regardless of their skin color, religion, blah blah blah. You've heard it all before. I am shamed to even have to explain this all to Taj.

And before any of you accuse me of being ignorant, spend a few minutes examining your own belief structure and determine just who the ignorant one is.

Fuckers.